Anger is a natural human emotion. It is not to be feared. Everyone experiences it at sometime in their life, whether it is mild irritation, frustration, or any other synonym you want to use. If we were to create an anger scale ranging from 1-10, we would never be at a “0.” We are always at some level of anger throughout our day. Anger is no different than sadness, depression, or on the other side of the spectrum, happiness, or pride. These emotions in and of themselves are completely normal.
A video I watched on Facebook some years ago reminded me that everyone does in fact get angry. It was a video of the Pope visiting Mexico. He was standing next to a crippled woman in a wheelchair while other pilgrims clamored to get near him. In their insistence, they knocked the woman in the wheelchair to the ground. The Pope instantly become upset and scolded those around him who had caused discomfort to the poor woman in the wheelchair. This video served as a reminder to me that even a man much of the world considers a truly humble, gentle, and holy man gets angry. He is human after all.
So, if anger is normal and natural, then why do we teach anger management? Anger, like any other negative emotion, becomes a problem when it is felt too intensely and causes adverse interactions with our environment or those around us. In my practice, I teach “anger management,” not “anger elimination.” It is important to note the difference and to give ourselves and others a break when we are frustrated. It is normal.
If you are feeling your anger too intensely, and it is causing problems in your environment, then you likely have an “anger management” problem. We encourage you to seek out help controlling your anger and help to make it more manageable.
Written by: Brian Guerre, LCSW
